Because you know what? I love being a mom! My life has never felt so full, so purposeful, and so straight-to-the-core peaceful as I does as a mother. Is life perfect? No. But the one area that is my trusty northern star is my children (and you too, Billy ;) ). And even though I too have questioned my decision to be a mother, you know, "did I really think this through?", the answer is always a unequivocal "yes. you did." It is a very comforting thing, in this world of surprising tomorrows, to know I am where I am suppose to be, doing what Heavenly Father wants me to.
So, because I've been so bad at posting, here are a couple of things lately that have reminded me why being a mother is such a rewarding, peace-giving role .
This is the book I read out loud to Liam this evening, snuggled up in his bed, the sweet baby powder shampoo smell still nestled in his damp hair. He listened to the first 20 pages quietly, asking if there was a picture of the wolf (there were only 3 pictures in the first 20 pages, and none of the wolf) and wondering if he we could play catch with Laura (not with a recently gutted pig bladder balloon, sorry). His attention span outlasted mine, and after the 20 we said our goodnights and he fell asleep. I hope he lets me read to him like this for a very, very long time.
Isla's hair is getting long enough for pigtails. This makes me exceedingly happy. Did I want to be a mother so I could have a live barbie doll? No, because barbies can be thrown in the closet and forgotten about. That wouldn't really work with Isla. The best I know how to describe it is this: Doing Isla's hair feels like a rite of passage. From Mother to daughter, I dispense the womenly tradition of hair care. Silly, but it is really bonding. Does she agree? Not yet. She screams like a banshee and writhes in between my clam-tight thigh-hold. I have hope for the future.
Family. When these two get along and play together well, it feels like Billy and I are succeeding at our goal to make a family. A loving, rooted, Christ-centered family. And this, of course, is the real reason I wanted to be a mother.Awww...cheesy. Too much? I hope not.
So, I may be labeled a lame boring underachiever, who leaves the bachelorette party early so she can get home to her kids--plural, not just a cute little ornamental baby, no, this is the real deal, smelly, noisy, I have a messy house kind of kids-- and I may have ants on my floor because these kids are crop dusters with the crackers, and I may get more pity then I do envy, but really, don't pity me. Because being a mom is what I've always wanted, and there is no other name more worthy of attaining then "Mommy", even when it doesn't sound very cool to people you'd like to impress. I am so lucky to have Liam and Isla. They are the funnest, cutest little guys, and loving them shows me how good I can be, and how great our Father in Heaven must be. If I love these guys this much, He must love us quite a bit, right?
5 comments:
That is so strange because yesterday I was looking at THAT particular "Laura Ingalls" book and knew that if I couldn't have the series, Uncle Lars and I have a history here, I could one day have my own Charlotte.
As for the generations of Mother-Daughter hair, we are indeed experiencing it. I was doing Anne-Louise's hair with all of the 'curl products' lined up, and she gleefully commented, "Curly hair like you!" However what I really want to do is start talking about the Mother-daughter generational hair woes.
I must be oblivious to other people and their expectations - or what I "should" be doing. I've already done what so many others are now just starting to do. It's nice to be able to say "Been there, done that." Besides the window to become a Mother, is time that can never be taken back.
Thanks for the post, and I love the runny noses, which is the state of our Claire right now.
I also wanted to tell you that the bow you gave me when I was like 6, 7, 8 something like that - I wore forever. Basically because my hairstyle growing up was "savage."
This is wonderful Rebecca. That is just how I feel and I must be the luckiest mother-in-law in the world to have you write these deep feelings. Thank you!!!
Love,
Connie
Oh Becca,
I'm so happy when you post. I check every day faithfully. You could say I'm your own personal blog-stalker. This post is inspirational -- along the same lines as "I Am a Mother." It may seem that people may "look down" on you, but mostly I think people think we're brave for going for our dreams -- not being afraid of maybe not having a ton of money, not being afraid of feeling fulfilled in something so simple as motherhood, and not being afraid of letting go of a "career" (which is something you can't take with you to heaven, by the way. You CAN take your family with you). I love having a friend who has the same passion for her children as I do.
I agree - motherhood has bestowed a wonderful serenity to my life. Amidst the sometime-insanity of having two boisterous children, I derive great pleasure and comfort from fulfilling this role right now.
And my husband has admitted to being jealous of my calm assurance that I am doing the right thing - as he worries about his job, grad school, and his choice of a major.
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