Phantosmia is a rare chemosensory disorder where the patient unexplainably detects a hallucinated smell. Putridpoosmia, is my own personal parenting olfactory phenomenon. Ever since Liam started eating solid foods, and the resultant genesis of bona fide stinky diapers, I inscrutably smell them wherever I am. Whether I am in a movie theatre on a date with Billy, or shopping for Christmas presents, I seem to breathe in the sweetly putrid stench of fresh baby feces. If Liam is with me, nine times out of ten his diaper will be poop-free. If he is not present, I will perform a stain scan, carefully looking for leftover remnants of his last diaper change. Again, most often there will be no lurking smears or dribbles. So why the smell? Putridpoosmia—the eerie, ever-present stench of phantom poo.
To the non-parent, this delinquency of the nose might appear not only annoying but gut-wrenchingly noxious. However, those who know how it feels to nurse a hungry newborn or feed pureed bananas to an eager six-month-old, know this phenomenon is only the result of a lovingly nurtured child. In fact, I have begun to associate the smell of dirty diapers with the deep devotion and affection I feel for my little boy (coincidentally nicknamed Stinker Technology). While out with Billy a couple weeks ago, I experienced an exceptionally poignant flash of Putridpoosmia. Its presence intensely deepened my yearning for the little S.T. During dinner, I thought of his pale skin, soft thighs, and toothy grin. I suddenly couldn’t wait to drive home so I could hold him close and feel his wet lips against my cheeks as he gave me his tender baby kisses. After a few moments of daydreaming, my sweet husband gave me a knowing look and asked the waiter for the bill.
1 comment:
This is great! I know this phenomenon very well myself :)
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